With apologies to George Lucas, who I hope never sends me a cease and desist order.
Do your expeditions always result in casualties?
Are you sick of the countless wasted hours spent in an ancient ruins throwing bags of rocks and remote droids down every hall to set off falling celiings, spike pits, shock floors, and who knows what else?
Do you still get injured due to traps that only react to certain conditions that only organics seem to set off?
Well waste time and lives no more! Hire Admiral Ackbar’s Adventure Assistants! Yes Admiral Ackbar’s Adventure Assistants work cheap and they work well. They always scout ten feet ahead of you in any situation and come for far less than Calrissian’s Crawlers! Calrissian’s Crawlers are often ex-mercenaries who want the treasure you seek for themselves! When you hire from Ackbar, you get a sharp-eyed Mon Calamari who scouts ten feet ahead at all times. When your young Mon Calamari senses the slightest hint of danger, he’ll yell “It’s a trap!” at the top of his lungs and bolt down the nearest safe path to the exit, providing you with a clear way out that won’t result in grievous bodily harm!
And that’s because Admiral Ackbar’s Adventure Assistants come with a quality guarantee! Admiral Ackbar only hires college archaeology students as interns desperately seeking credit who want nothing more than to just go home, just like the Admiral himself at the Battle of Endor. Admiral Ackbar’s Adventure Assistants consider safety to be job one, two, and any other number a Givin can come up with! Forget Calrissian’s Crawlers, that is unless you want a face full of acid and no artifacts to sell off to pay for the expensive reconstructive surgery!
Remember, if it’s not Admiral Ackbar’s Adventure Assistants, it’s a trap!