Official has lost all meaning.

I don’t mean the status so much as the word.

I’ve come to this decision seeing more ads for officialquiz.com (the official quiz of text subscription service scammers I suppose), random things labeled official in similar ways, and the clincher, a movie titled “Official To Catch A Predator Parody XXX.”

The title provides me endless joy, I admit. The concept of it actually featuring Chris Hansen, as clearly he signed off on it being an OFFICIAL parody, sitting naked on a stool, saying “Why don’t you have a seat over here?” as he points to his lap is absolutely hilarious to me, and probably me alone.

Then I went back to trying to reconcile “Official Unofficial Biography of David Beckham” my friend told me he saw in the bookstore. That’s just confusing, so I’m going back to inserting the image of Chris Hansen, pantsless and spread eagle on a barstool at a kitchen counter as some unsuspecting pederast walks in. “Why don’t you take a seat? Over here. No no, you don’t have to talk. I’m not going to arrest you. I just wanna talk. Why don’t you take a seat?”