Bionic Band

This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen. Kinoki Footpad dumb.

The Bionic Band. If you’ve been to any flea market, trade show, etc. in the last few months, you’ve probably seen it.

The claim is it’s a band imprinted with your body’s natural frequency, and its protons all spin the same way, which makes YOUR protons spin the same way. And by doing that you’re immune to electromagnetic fields, faster, stronger, and better balanced.

If you want one, though, it’s going to be $50. But good news! You get a discount if you start selling them! No kidding, it’s a pyramid scheme wrapped around Alex Chiu’s eternal life rings basically.

Here’s a fun fact. Their demonstration is to have you hold your fingers/hands together or to push you, or pull against your arm. And then you put on the bracelet or hold it, and wow, you’re stronger already! The second time, of course, you expect it, and they push in different directions versus the off-center pressure that’s harder to resist.

You can also debunk them in their on booths. Get yourself a volunteer. Tell him you’re about to push him, let him prepare. He’ll resist. Next, “This bracelet is used for safety. We’ve used it with prisoners as an alternative to chemicals, and animal trainers use it because the creatures they’re training won’t be as strong, or as dangerous. Put it on and you’ll feel how it’s harder to resist or keep your balance.” Push a little to the side, this time, and watch them tumble from a combination of unexpected direction and psychosomatic influence.

Then you should probably move very far away very fast, because they’re going to be pissed. Fortunately, they won’t be hopped up on placebo effect anymore and you can escape easily!