Entries from May 2010 ↓

You know what’s boring? A poker game based 99% on luck. Yes, there’s some skill in betting, I know. But there’s no skill in the rest of it, you just sit and wait.

I don’t know how the game took over everything poker related, but it did when there are games out there that are so much more interesting. You know what takes some luck and some skill? Draw poker.

5 card draw requires you to figure out if it’s worth taking a chance. Hell, 5 card stud, while a sit and wait, means a hell of a lot more mental calculation based on what you know isn’t around and what the other guy has.

Texas Hold ‘em…sit, wait, and oh look, everyone has a good hand at once. Boring.

My summoning is unsuccessful. I keep almost thinking of something to write. Most of my week has been spent on the verge of something.

I’m going to go with SR 1070 is ridiculous. “A police officer may not consider race, color, or national origin in the enforcement of this section.”

No national origin. Isn’t that, in fact, the key to to being an illegal alien? That you’re both not from the US and haven’t entered legally? When they say “No, race isn’t a factor, really!” it’s disingenuous or naive. Of course race is going to be considered.

When they say national origin can’t be considered, which is, in fact, the key to defining someone as an alien of any sort, they just make it obvious they’re mocking us.

Also, JD Hayworth is a worthless, lying, ignorant cockbag. But I don’t need a whole post to say that.

Say what you want, McDonald’s food is friendly. It’s happy to say hi to everything else you eat and see how it’s doing.

Chompie’s bagels, particularly an Everything Bagel, have a lot to offer too. They’ve got something for everyone, especially when you add cream cheese and vegemite to the mix of garlic, onion, poppy seed, and who knows what else.

A Sausage Egg McMuffin and a Chompie’s Everything Bagel will become quick friends in your digestive tract and intestines, sharing the trip. Your colon doesn’t like this. Colons are full of shit and everyone knows it, they don’t know how to keep friends. They get jealous and start throwing tantrums and become work-obsessed.

You, on the other hand, will wake up at 4:30 am, being alerted by the workaholic colon that “Damn it boss, I gotta clear the warehouse, open the door!” And as the sleepy manager you’ll comply because you’re sick of him smashing things up inside you anyway, but he didn’t tell you he plans to empty the whole warehouse.

But he does. He’s got OCD, and that warehouse is UNCLEAN.

Hope you brought a book.

Really.

Your memory and Google cache are both liars, because the timestamp shows that this came in just under the wire, and that I did not fall asleep during Real Time and fail to post something.

HBO schedule for May 25th, 2010:

6:00 am to 7:15- The Land Before Time

7:15 to 9:30- Jurassic Park

There is no way that’s coincidence, but I applaud the sick bastard programming director.

Vajuvination was already awkward, but this…

Sounds painful. For everyone. I might be wrong here, but I’m going to presume the likely outcomes of vajazzling are scraping, scratching, tiny cuts, and pulled hair. There is nothing good about this.

Today’s ironic statement is courtesy of myemohairstyles.com.

Emo boys and emo girls try to be unique and comfortable in society with one’s self by expressing their individuality and self-expression through the emo hairstyles adopted.

They’re different, just like everyone else! Once again I state, “I hate hipsters.”

Yes, you. With the Bieber cut. Or the feathered hair helmet. It’s girl hair from the 60s and 70s. I know it’s very popular right now, and you think you look so great with your sassy bangs and all, but there it is. You’ve got the haircut of a little girl. Your emo-hipster style is just missing the pink bow.

Despite my attempts at altering my circadian rhythms, I’m still quite tired by 8 pm, and waking up at 6 am or so. I’ve made progress, but even if I stay up until 10, I wake at 6.

My body is incredibly stubborn, despite the use of consistent scientific methodology and persistent “Fuck you, I’m staying awake later” every night. I will be able to stay up for class, damn it! And also to not miss all the fun times on the internet, which never happen before 10 PST.

At least after this nap.

They don’t look good on cholas, and they don’t look good on you. If you don’t live in the southwest US, and thus don’t know what I’m talking about…

It’s weird. You’d think raising the eyebrows up would make a forehead look smaller, but it only serves to make it look larger. The permanent surprised expression combined with the effect of pushing your eyes down (visually speaking) makes it look like you have a developmental disability. I mean hey, maybe that’s the goal, but I’m pretty sure they’re doing it because they think it’s sexy. But who actually likes that look?