Entries from June 2010 ↓

Politicians sure enjoy their time in them, don’t they? Carly Fiorina mocks someone’s hair. Rush Limbaugh defends the sanctity of marriage from gays while he races to out-divorce Larry King. Republican senators yell that the government shouldn’t  be involved in business affairs, then yell about the fact Barack Obama isn’t involved enough with the BP oil spill, demanding he start commandeering ships and rigs.

And yet, JD Hayworth and John McCain have run a nearly mudless campaign. Both have had years of scandal (though only the former was voted out), both have records that will make the base and independents mad, and yet I’ve never heard the words “Abramoff” or “Keating.” I suspect it’s that both realize bringing up one means the other comes up, and that it means a surefire defeat in the election proper, post primary (assuming one doesn’t run as an independent and split the base). They both want to, they’re desperately TRYING to find ways to insult each other. But bringing those two things up is the end for them.

So I guess what I’m saying is…pretty please? I’ll be your best friends and not write any more mean things if you do, really!

I had all kinds of ideas to write about today, I really did, and I’m sure I’ll do plenty tomorrow. Right now, though, I’ve got a fever.

Extreme Fever.

I saw Peggle on Xbox Live for 10 bucks, including Peggle Nights. And the only cure for Extreme Fever is more Extreme Fever, and more Peggle. I own it three different ways now. PC, DS, and Xbox 360. I’m oddly okay with that, because I can have the superior version at my desk, an on the go version, and big screen bouncing action.

“A good pump is better than cumming.”

A comedian will tell you “I’ve never worked out.”

Then he’ll probably mention that weights have nothing on a laugh from an audience as far as he’s aware. Laughter is better than any drug he’s tried, which will usually be “Most of the ones people have offered and a few I got special order from Keith Richards. But I guess weightlifting could be alright, anyway.”

It turns out I have more than I thought. In my communications class, the teacher wrote on the board “What is a man?”

I did not yell out “A MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS!” for the entire two and a half hours of class. I’m not quite sure how I resisted it, but I sure had to bite my fist to not burst out laughing.

I also hate Justin Bieber. That’s unrelated, I just finally decided to see, maybe, if there’s a reason there’s so much fuss over him. One Time sucked. Baby nearly caused my to slit my wrists to ease the suffering.

But with yet another new headphone set (having returned the previous ones due to driver issues and picked up the stupidly great World of Warcraft headset), Robot Unicorn Attack is better than ever. I’d been listening to the game via some “meh” level speakers, and some good but not great portable headphones. Turns out when you put some full response headphones on combined with some THX software, holy shit.

Best game ever, even bester. But then I made a typo and realized the one thing that could make it more incredible.

Robot Unicron Attack. Just sayin’.

Or, “The E. Coli Dilema.” If you’re not firing from both ends, it’s not E. Coli, but that’s the problem. When you feel so sick and your intestines hurt so bad it says “Screw this man, I’m not taking any more. Go back the way you came.” When you’re hunched over in pain and that warning comes up. The slow, creeping sour flavor, the burning stench of bile in your throat.

You know what’s coming. It’s inevitable, but what do you do? Unless you already knew you were sick, you don’t have a bucket with you, which would be the safest option. Instead, unless you’re fortunate enough to be using a Japanese toilet, you have to make the call. Do you flip? A quick wipe and a switch to your knees means far less cleanup, more comfort, less splash. Unless you cramp up so hard your bowels decide they’re not done. Then the cleanup is exponentially worse.

Or you can pull the shower curtain, lean hard, and let rip. That, however, means a lot more cleaning, which you never want when you’re already sick. Can’t let it sit, though, and unless you’re “lucky” enough that it’s purely bile or mostly dry, you have to get on it before it starts to stick to the tub or mat.

It’s the snitch’s dilemma, played out by your digestive tract. If you take a chance, you might walk out free by turning your partner in. Or you might turn each other in and pay an even worse price than if you’d both just shut up.

All I know is that I’m glad I went for the shower this morning.

Not the one who’s hooker beat up a valet. Another guy named John from Arizona who’s an elected official and is a tremendous asshole. Today it’s John Kavanah, Republican from district 8 in the state house. Right wing talk show host, defender of SR 1070, regular Fox News guest, teabagger.

With the prior list I believe that brings us up to six assholes named John and a Joe. As common a name as John is, I feel like I should be able to find one who’s NOT an asshole. So far, nothing. Anyone? Anyone seen any Johns elected by Arizona that aren’t assholes?

They die sometimes.

I’ve always had a separate partition for my OS and storage, having learned the hard way.

But when the drive itself dies without warning, that, it turns out, isn’t enough. From now on, especially given the relatively low price of two hard drives, I’m going to sacrifice the space for a mirrored RAID array. $200 gets me 2 TB, and I think I can safely enough split that and do fine. Alas, I can’t recover the data that was lost, now that this old drive won’t read to begin with.

RIP Maxtor DiamondMax 21, aka Reactor.

Rabbi Daniel Lapin just gave an interview on MSNBC, comparing a TV show in development satirizing the life of Jesus to the BP oil spill. He followed up defending this analogy by saying “I’m not a foe of Comedy Central; I love The Man Show, I like the uh, Today Show.”

Man Show, ended in 2004 (2003 if you ask many fans). Today Show-A long running morning show on NBC. You might want to fact-check your bullshit, Rabbi. Especially before commenting that you think it’s unfair that Comedy Central is hesitant to make fun of Muslims due to threats of violence, thus implying you think Christians should threaten violence as well.

This one goes out to my nice nerd brothers.

When a girl has a history of dating jerks, she’s going to keep it up. She may express interest in you, and likely will, but that first date will be the only date unless she’s actively been single for a while and worked out the issues that had her dating those guys to begin with.

I know. We’ve all been there. The first date seemed awesome. And then you never heard back. You did nothing wrong, and your female friends will say you did it all completely right, but people rarely break out of their relationship and friendship habits. It takes recognition of the problem, the pattern, the cause, and the will to change it.

The dating world would be a much better place were we all aware of this, and all aware of the progress we have and haven’t yet made. Alas, such self-recognition the realm of fiction, and we nerds continue to try and save girls who have a history of dating jerks who don’t want to be saved nearly as much as they seem to imply.