There was a douchebag I saw on the way to school with a home-stenciled “Vaginaterian” label on his truck. I wondered what kind of asshole does that. Turned out it was a Juggalo, by the other stickers.

Fucking Juggalos can’t even get “vagitarian” right.

No, really, according to comments I recently read the GQ community oppresses the cisgendered world (aka, most of us-people whose sex and gender are congruent by birth). Why? Because they get to choose what they are day by day, they’re more special than the rest of us!

As a sexual health specialist (in training, of course), I can’t help but find the very core of all this debate ridiculous. People are born with a sex (mostly binary being a case of X and Y chromosomes), gender (a spectrum, not a binary) develops over time. It doesn’t even settle in as something that’s permanent for most people before five or six. Plenty of little boys will say they’re going to be mommies, little girls daddies, and change their minds later. And for some people it doesn’t ever become a solid thing. That’s not a choice someone makes, it’s who they are. Gender is a fluid concept that stems from inside the individual. The reason for that we can debate infinitely, but at the end of the day it’s internal and it’s something that isn’t chosen, it just is what it is.

Most people are cis, and good for them, they’ll have a much easier time of it. Some people aren’t, and those people get the short end of the stick societally – especially if their sex doesn’t fit their apparent gender. Intersexuality and gender dysphoria are not readily accepted by most, especially from the cisgender world. In no way does being genderqueer oppress someone cis because they get to “make a choice” on their gender, they don’t have that kind of power. The cisgender world does have that kind of power, and it uses it violently. Just as people have been assaulted for sexual orientation they’ve been assaulted for their gender orientation – even the medical community has been guilty of many a malpractice related to intersexuality, “correcting” genitals that had no actual problems besides being atypical under the guise of mortal danger.

Nobody was ever murdered for being cisgender. That’s not true for everyone else, and to say the former is oppressed by the latter is an exercise in painful ignorance at the absolute best, silent compliance with the oppression that DOES go on now.

Reframe the argument as “bisexuals are oppressing straights because by being bisexual they get to make a choice” and it’s obvious just how ridiculous it is to everyone who wasn’t enraged/frightened by Dragon Age II’s universal love interest system. But because of social ignorance toward gender some people actually think this is an okay argument to make. They still call transgendered folks liars, still attack people who don’t fit into their binary mold, or even claim to be under attack.

They’re wrong, and I pray society finally begins to move on. There are cultures who’ve had third genders for a thousand years now, and yet we can’t manage to find our way there. But we’ll be better people for it once we do.

After going to a small youth theatre show I’ve been reminded how much I fucking hate stage parents. I also hate most motherfuckers in theatres (live, in this case) because they don’t know how to act right, but stage parents are the worst of them.

Don’t call out your child’s name during the show. They’re not the only person in the cast, it’s not about them, and it’s a distraction to their performance, and everyone else’s. You also aren’t entitled to photograph the performance, with or without a flash, just because your child is in the show. Don’t get up and leave as soon as your child’s performance is over, that just proves you’re a self-centered asshole and probably only there to bask in your child’s reflected glory.

Let’s just go so far as to say don’t yell things out at all. Applaud, and applaud loudly as warranted. But shut the fuck up as you’re doing it.

Shut the fuck up during the performance especially and restrict speech to whispers during scene changes. If it’s anything musical, save your applause until a number is OVER rather than interrupting it.

Don’t start a last clap contest during scene changes just because you think it’s funny. It’s not cute, nobody’s laughing, we just think you and the other guy doing it with you on the other end of the theatre should be punched in the face and removed from the building. This applies to yelling “encore” after a show that isn’t a musical concert as well. What kind of encore is a play going to have? Are they tacking on an epilogue they write in the back? No? There isn’t any? Did you yell that for any reason besides needing attention? Fuck you.

In the process of getting my physical, I came to realize just how much of a worrier I am. I’m pretty sure this is the same thing that happens to everyone, though. You go in, you get poked and prodded, and suddenly your brain goes into overdrive.

“Oh god, I’m scared of the test results!”

Whether or not there’s any reason to be, and more importantly, as if the test results have anything to do with things. They’re only and indicator of what’s already happening! But the human mind wants to  assign blame for what hasn’t happened and may not ever happen. “Oh god I MUST HAVE THE AIDS!” it says for absolutely no reason. “My cholesterol is going to be sky high! I’m a walking heart attack!” follows. “Cancer! I have testicular cancer!”

It never goes to simple things, like “I could lose a little weight” or “Well, my cholesterol is a touch high, but I’ve been changing how I eat so that’s going down anyway.” It’s always a worst case scenario, thinking about that tiny, tiny lump that you know biologically belongs there anyway, or that one questionable encounter with that one questionable girl. Odds be damned, it’s always something terrible that you never thought of before that you MUST have now.

It’s a three day wait for “Oh god. The doctor calls with results thursday, but it’s not going to be the “You’re fine!”, it’s going to be the “I need you to come down to my office” because Arizona law mandates positive AIDS test results be delivered in person!”

Intellectually I’m entirely aware that ANY results are a benefit to me. I’m sure most people are when they get their tests. If against all odds I was a walking heart attack with AIDS and testicular cancer I’d be better off knowing so I could treat it. Instead, my primate brain says “ook ook you’ll live forever if you don’t know ook ook!”, not “Hey, that’s good, your heart won’t explode and shower HIV on everyone around you since you can treat the problem!”

Stupid primate brain.

1) I can’t figure out why Vegemite, delicious mana of the gods, has never caught on anywhere outside of Australia. It’s fucking delicious.

2)I can’t figure out why people are so god damn dumb as to flip out over the fact it has a Halal sticker now. Are Muslims not supposed to enjoy things? Do people think there was some big change to the formula just by adding a sticker? Do they think that stickers indicating food as Halal are some kind of secret tax, and you have to run ‘em all under an Imam’s prayers? Or is it that people just don’t realize Halal is synonymous with Kosher, and Vegemite’s been both to begin with?

3)Why does this get 5200 people? This is just sad.

Upon looking for the advantages/disadvantages of standard v torch lighters, I came across this gem on a forum.

SWIM is an abbreviation for Someone Who Isn’t Me. Drugs-Forum discourages the use of SWIM and encourages more creative ways to avoid self incrimination.

This site has firm rules against self-incrimination, especially in forums about production, cultivation, chemistry & extraction. The use of SWIM is the thinnest way of avoiding self-incrimination. We therefore discourage the use of SWIM.
Due to the nature of this board, we are asking that members do not incriminate or implicate themselves or in other words talking about something they have done, plan to do, are doing etc….

Instead use the third person, write about AFAOF (a friend of a friend), dreams or better yet: be more creative and write about how your pink elephant committed these acts while bathing in soup. The more absurdity the better.

We ask for your compliance to this not only for your safety but for ours…As a result if you choose not to comply further actions may ensue this includes warnings, suspensions and if that’s not enough banning….

I for one would like to see this forum stay up and grow as it has been doing and with various sites that have been shut down, busts and so-forth this is very important that we all do our part to keep this forum alive..

Yeah man, fight the power! The feds will never crack the code now!

don’t understand why it is suggested that one can only trip on salvia if one uses a torch lighter. my dog’s pet hamster smoked salv. out of an apple with a bic lighter (hamster was very eager) and had a mind blowing trip.

They’ll never get you on drugs with this mindblowingly great code, certainly. Although they might arrest you on animal cruelty charges, based on your incriminating posts.

In the “this is not news” category, local Fox affiliate is doing a recap of their favorite videos of the year. Oh, and it’s with awful clown car music. Nope. Nothing annoying here. No need for the original sound or context of the video at all, let’s just play some awful circus music and run the videos at double speed instead. And they did for several minutes. I don’t know who just put together the video recap footage that aired at 9:45 pm tonight, but I hope they didn’t get paid for it.

Running all the footage at 2x+ speed is annoying enough, playing awful clown car music just turned it from a bad waste of airtime into the desire to shove pencils in my ears to provide some relief.

Instead, I turned the channel and wrote a complaint letter; I’m not sure I’ll ever turn back to the local Fox news, for fear of someone deciding to go for a sequel.

I’m attempting to introduce this phrase to the political discourse. While he lacks the charisma of your Bachmann, who’s a spectacular moron in her own right, Louie Gohmert seems to take the crazy up to a level even Glenn Beck can’t manage. While plenty of people said letting gays in the military would be bad for it, only Louie came up with terror babies. He actively opposes giving Washington D.C. a representative (afterall, who cares if a city full of poor liberal minorities have taxation without representation?), believes global warming, of course, is a hoax because God wouldn’t do it, has tried to deauthorize funding for key habitats of endangered species…

I think the point is clear.

So when I saw someone on Free Republic declare his pride in having Louie Gohmert as his representative in congress, being the only person to “Stand up against the fag agenda and homofication and destruction of the military by the president’s unconstitutional attempts to control it”, I realized that the Freepers were going, in fact, full Gohmert.

They also clearly have no clue about constitutional powers, but hey, neither does Louie.

The guide function is further reduced. There’s no longer a button to change the viewed date (Edit: Apparently entering a number, 1-7, then pressing the right arrow key goes that far forward. No suggestion or hint of such function anywhere in the software), and no longer a return function. You just have to exit and restart the guide.

Annoying, if not critical. You what IS critical? 15 minute intervals. The new guide doesn’t support them, only full 30 minute blocks. Now 15 minute intervals aren’t a big deal on every station, but on any movie channel or on Adult Swim, they’re critical. Entire shows now go unlisted. HBO first looks, for example, may be skipped entirely, as is the second half of any 2 x 15 Adult Swim block. What’s on after Robot Chicken but before The Boondocks? What’s on after 12 oz Mouse? How about after Children’s Hospital?

Well, you’re not going to find out on THIS guide.

I don’t even know why I do it at this point. It was a little more excusable when I had no WordPress access except from one computer in my room, but now I’ve got access all kinds of places. And often enough I’ll sit there and scrawl out an entry on my cell phone via QuickNote to type in here later. So why not just do it immediately?

And yet I don’t. I delay until midnight and I’m about to go to bed every time. This serves no purpose, and the psychological motivation behind this is a mystery to me.

Maybe I just have that much self-loathing that I always need to be on the edge of fucking up?