Entries Tagged 'stupidity' ↓

Jesus, people do not know how to take remotely attractive pictures of themselves. They take pictures at crazy angles (super high, tilted 45 degrees, massive closeup) or super high contrast mirror shots.

If you’re wondering how to do it right, here’s a hint. If you took it yourself, and it wasn’t with a self-timer, it looks like shit. If it was with a self-timer, it still probably looks like shit, but maybe not. Ask a friend who you trust. Ask a total stranger. If they agree, it’s okay to use. Otherwise, just get a friend to take your picture. Hand them your camera! You’ve obviously got one even if they don’t, so pass it off to ‘em, let them take a picture, and use THAT for your Facebook, OKcupid, whatever. Because when you don’t, we just presume you’re stupid and/or incredibly fat. Usually both, if the angle is severe enough.

And before someone gets up in arms, it has nothing to do with being fat. You’re fat? Fine, be fat. Just don’t be a liar about it. We’ve all got problems, but the rest of us are honest about it.

Today, I saw Khloe Kardashian in six inch heels.

On the beach.

ON. THE. BEACH.

She couldn’t figure out why she had so much trouble walking. Maybe the fact she’s slamming said heels five inches into the ground is the problem, like garden spikes.

And lo, I have witnessed the end of human evolution.

Instead of just before bed, say, or after forgetting the rest of the world exists via Fallout:New Vegas.

So here’s the dumbest thing I’ve read today.

“Who is oboma watching to protect? Within hours of citizens complaints of another mosk being built oboma had his justice department jump at defending the building of another mosk that a community doesn’t want. Even though the people have no chance to over rule its building. Think ing!”

This one came via youropenbook.org, and the profile picture is a picture of another picture. SHOCKER.

Posted via Android. Apologies for misspellings and extraneous periods. That key is right by the space bar.

Fuck you, Palin. You can’t talk about running the US as a nation of equality like it was intended at the same time as you tell an entire group of the population they’re worth less than you as human beings. You may actually be the worst person on Earth. You lie blatantly, revel in hypocrisy, and engage in personal assaults at the same time you complain you’re under fire. I don’t doubt that you wools run a totalitarian fascist regime given the chance, but call it freedom protection, grizzly style. And people would eat it up. You take pride in ignorance, you turn stupidity into a virtue. If there’s really as hell, I take comfort knowing you’ll be there. Considering you may be Satan herself, though, I’m not sure how comforting that is. All I know is you’re unbelievably stupid or a complete sociopath. Either way, I don’t know why people fall for it.

Urge to expatriate rising. If this woman gets into office come 2012, I apologize to the world, and suggest we all get in our bunkers before she presses the red button.

No, really, is there? I bet the glisteny, fatty gum tastes just like bacon, and that’s always a welcome thing.

Arizona is the dumbest god damn state in the country, and I mean that in a literal manner. If intelligence tests were run, even an idealized version totally free of any bias, Arizona would be dead last in all categories.

Every single time there’s a ballot proposition on a tax increase it passes. Every time, I have yet to see a single one fail, no matter how ambiguous the function. If it just says “It’s for schools”, without any mention of how the money is to be distributed, it passes. Or if it doesn’t say that much. We just have bills that say “We want to raise property tax by three percent.” That’s it.

And they pass overwhelmingly. 10 days later, the same people will complain Obama is raising their taxes.

Fuck. Arizona.

And lo, the greatest news to come this week, the end of Rick Sanchez’s show.

In a flash of unbridled stupidity rivaling only the tweets he aired for two hour a day, Sanchez declared Jon Stewart a bigot, the Jews run the media, and that he won’t get promoted purely because he’s Hispanic. No Rick, it was because you’re an idiot.

That wasn’t Hawaii, 9 meters is, in fact, English, and reading tweets for two hours doesn’t count as news. Nor does ripping off Olbermann’s “Worst person in the world”, or any of the other hack-work you’ve done. And really “The list u don’t want 2 be on”? You couldn’t have been say, more creative/literate? That’s all you’ve got?

That, Rick, is why you never got over “second-tier”, though I doubt you made it that far. You were a field reporter who could take a hit, get tased, stand in a hurricane. Insightful, intelligent presentations were clearly never your thing, and you proved that as an anchor, by eschewing reporting entirely. Your fans were mostly undereducated jackasses who just happened to be the loudest voices, but never the clearest.

So I guess this means you’ll be on Fox News in a few weeks, where all the people CNN gets rid of for being batshit go. Have fun with Glenn Beck! The rest of us will celebrate a win for decency and journalism.

If you have a monopoly, what’s the best way to make more money? Why, to try to compete with another monopoly’s product by changing your own, of course!

That’s how TV executives think. CBS, for example, owns Monday Night. Great for them, stick with it, keep the ratings, right? Oh. No? Take your best show and move it to the spot with the most competition on Thursday night, and add one of the anticipated shows to that same timeframe, ensuring both get lower ratings and less revenue than they would have where they started? That makes perfect sense!

Idiots.

People cannot watch two things at once. Granted, they can generally record two things, but when you move to say, Thursday, you’re going up against three things as is. Two shows are NOT getting watched. At most, you’re going to have an equal amount of viewers to what you had on the previous night, more likely you have less. Less viewers, less ad revenue. What’s the point of this gamble, again? You won’t come out ahead, you’ll likely come out as a loss. It might feel nice to take away viewers from the competition, but they’re doing the exact same to you, and now you’re potentially giving up the night you own, at least that slow. Lost viewers there, less profits for you.

A lot more piracy, though. If you can’t just record the show you want, afterall, and it’s not on DVD, why not just download it? Do consider that one, networks executives.

Not according to the jingle. Those folks forgot the last “s.” Really. They sing “one eight-hundred em ay tee tee arr-eee esssss” repeatedly.

You’d think a jingle writer would get it right. I mean, the company name is right in front of him isn’t it? On his desk, with the proposal and what the company wants.

“1-800-Mattress wants their phone number included three times, and the company name twice”, for example. But nope. He was clueless, and the end result is a commercial with the misspelled jingle and a note below the phone number.

“Drop the last S for savings.”

I can’t make this shit up.

Really. I’ve got a picture of it, though the quality is rather poor, since it was taken at night and the bumper sticker was suffering under my headlights. I’ll see if I can manage to upload it though after fixing the image to be NOT horrible.

Still, it wasn’t exactly hard to recreate from the reference photo. And it’s not like teabaggers have ever been accused of having good layouts in signs and stickers.